Finding love online
By Fran Greene With the holidays just around the corner, this is the perfect time to respond to emails from prospective dates and potential soul mates. Celebrate by using the Internet to meet your match, who may be right around the block or on the other side of the globe.Finding a lover online is similar to selling your car. Your ad attracts potential buyers, but it’s talking with you that helps the prospective buyer to determine whether or not to see the car. Similarly your profile attracts potential suitors, but your email response sets the stage for continued contact.
Who should I respond to?
If you get a lot of responses and are feeling overwhelmed, I suggest the following:
- print all of your emails
- read them twice
- divide them into three categories: definite, maybe and not interested
Good dating netiquette demands you reply to emails as soon as possible. You don’t have to play any waiting games. It will be very flattering to your suitor if you respond quickly. You want to make your profile come alive and catch his/her attention immediately. Use descriptive language, poetry, compliments, and be creative. Your response should evoke a smile when your prospective match reads it. Let your sense of humor shine through. Also include a comment about his or her profile—something that turned you on. Don’t be afraid to be daring! For example, you might try, “Who knows, I could be The One you have been searching for.”
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What do you do with the emails that you are undecided about? Try exchanging a couple of emails to see if the sparks begin flying. Sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised. If you are still unsure, it’s time to say goodbye to your potential partner.
What if I have no interest at all?
Is it rude to ignore an email? Is it better to say thanks, but no thanks? If you have just started dating someone, reply with a short email letting that person know that you are involved and thank him or her for the interest. If your suitor is geographically undesirable for you, say that, too.
What about the emails that are just unappealing?
I recommend a brief note that says, “Thank you for your email, but I would prefer not to get to know each other. I wish you all the best.”
Responding to all emails is polite, respectful and honest. It will enable suitors to move on rather than wait for a reply that will never happen.
Final tips
Your email response is like a fabulous opening line. You’ll want to create a lasting first impression, so check your spelling, have fun and be spontaneous and flirtatious.
Fran Greene is a freelance contributor to Match.com.